In honour of my small town, Lougheed, AB which is hosting its homecoming and centennial celebration Aug. 12-14.
You KNOW you were raised in a small town when…
1) You can name everyone you graduated with.
2) You know what 4-H means.
3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday, you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6)
4) You used to “cruise” Main even though it was only 3 blocks long.
5) You said the “F” word and your parents knew within the hour.
6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.
7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents anyhow)
8. When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.
9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.
10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
12) You didn’t give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn onto main by Bill’s, turn right at the school, turn left at Wagner’s.
13) The grocery store had 3 aisles.
14) You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
16) The town next to you was considered “trashy” or “snooty,” but was actually just like your town.
17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1965 as the “rich” people.
18) The people in the “big city” dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.
19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the town bar.
20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.
21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
22) Directions were given using THE stop light or the Co-Op as a reference (see #12). If you were born in Alberta, it was the UFA.
23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.
24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings’ name.
25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.
26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.
27) The closest McDonalds was 25 miles away (or more).
28) The closest mall was over an hour away.
29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
30) You’ve pee’d in a corn/wheat/canola/rye field or behind a pick-up truck so the occupants couldn’t see you, unless the driver pulled ahead while you were doing your business in order to embarrass you.
31) Most people went by a nickname.
32) And the one that’s applicable to *my* hometown…the fire siren went each day at noon and every kid raced home to eat lunch while they watched the Flintstones.